Hi Auntie,
I was in a relationship with a guy who cheated on me and later I came to know that he has been in multiple relationships. I tried to cut off contact with him, but he blackmailed me by saying that he will tell my parents about our relationship. So I have to reply to his texts unwillingly. I don’t want to disappoint my parents as they trust me a lot. Please help me; this guy is ruining my peace.
P.S: I hate him
Stupid Girl Dear Girl,
This man is dangerous. To threaten you like this just to keep you in a relationship shows that he is manipulative. To tackle the situation, I want you to consider how your family will react to being told about your relationship. A lot of families might have a heated session after which they decide to ground their child when they find out about such relationships. However, in certain families the consequences can be more serious. The reason I am asking you to tell your family is because that is really the only real way to defang this ‘boyfriend’ of yours. It can be very uncomfortable but you need to tell them before he gets to them and tells them.
Once you let out your secret, he really has no power over you. I am not sure about how your family will react, however, the only real solution is to own up to your family. They may get very angry, but they will also help protect you from this man. That is a risk you will have to take. Once you have told them, get out of this relationship as soon as you can, before he can get his hands on more information that he can use against you.
‘My ex-boyfriend is blackmailing me’
In the meantime, keep screenshots of texts, emails and social media messages of threatening chats that he may have had with you. Save voice messages too. You never know when you might need them. Dear Auntie,
I am studying in high school. I have high ambitions about my studies, career and I am very particular about how I shape my life. I aspire to go abroad for further studies. My parents do not have an objection to that. They understand me. But my friends make fun of me saying that I have high dreams. I don’t! They call me “career-oriented”, “self-motivated”, “bookworm”, “crazy studious germ”, “professor” and stuff like that. At times I don’t pay heed, but there is a limit to what all I can hear. Most of my friends think that life is about getting married at 18, and sitting at home pampering their kids, when life is far more than that.
I know what I am and what I want for myself.
A Passionate Girl
Dear Passionista,
You are indeed special because you are refusing to be part of the herd. Stay with that gut feeling that tells you that you are made for greater things. You know how they say “The tall poppy gets cut.” You are experiencing that. Whenever there is anyone who stands out for any reason, some people around him or her try to cut him or her down to size. It is unfortunate, but that is part of the challenge you will have to overcome if you want to reach for the stars.
A lot of people don’t like people who work hard at school or in the office, because it brings out their insecurities about themselves. They don’t have aspirations in their lives. They have been told by cynics not to dream and they have bought into the myth that it won’t come true. Be proud of who you are. If people around you are calling you names, it is because they are not confident about who they are. Sadly, they need to put down others to feel good about their own selves.
Embrace your dreams. It is the best way to lead a life. Dreams will give direction to your life and keep you motivated. At the same time, don’t run down people who dream about marrying early and having babies. That is their dream. Let them live it, while you go after your own.
I was in a relationship with a guy who cheated on me and later I came to know that he has been in multiple relationships. I tried to cut off contact with him, but he blackmailed me by saying that he will tell my parents about our relationship. So I have to reply to his texts unwillingly. I don’t want to disappoint my parents as they trust me a lot. Please help me; this guy is ruining my peace.
P.S: I hate him
Stupid Girl Dear Girl,
This man is dangerous. To threaten you like this just to keep you in a relationship shows that he is manipulative. To tackle the situation, I want you to consider how your family will react to being told about your relationship. A lot of families might have a heated session after which they decide to ground their child when they find out about such relationships. However, in certain families the consequences can be more serious. The reason I am asking you to tell your family is because that is really the only real way to defang this ‘boyfriend’ of yours. It can be very uncomfortable but you need to tell them before he gets to them and tells them.
Once you let out your secret, he really has no power over you. I am not sure about how your family will react, however, the only real solution is to own up to your family. They may get very angry, but they will also help protect you from this man. That is a risk you will have to take. Once you have told them, get out of this relationship as soon as you can, before he can get his hands on more information that he can use against you.
‘My ex-boyfriend is blackmailing me’
In the meantime, keep screenshots of texts, emails and social media messages of threatening chats that he may have had with you. Save voice messages too. You never know when you might need them. Dear Auntie,
I am studying in high school. I have high ambitions about my studies, career and I am very particular about how I shape my life. I aspire to go abroad for further studies. My parents do not have an objection to that. They understand me. But my friends make fun of me saying that I have high dreams. I don’t! They call me “career-oriented”, “self-motivated”, “bookworm”, “crazy studious germ”, “professor” and stuff like that. At times I don’t pay heed, but there is a limit to what all I can hear. Most of my friends think that life is about getting married at 18, and sitting at home pampering their kids, when life is far more than that.
I know what I am and what I want for myself.
A Passionate Girl
Dear Passionista,
You are indeed special because you are refusing to be part of the herd. Stay with that gut feeling that tells you that you are made for greater things. You know how they say “The tall poppy gets cut.” You are experiencing that. Whenever there is anyone who stands out for any reason, some people around him or her try to cut him or her down to size. It is unfortunate, but that is part of the challenge you will have to overcome if you want to reach for the stars.
A lot of people don’t like people who work hard at school or in the office, because it brings out their insecurities about themselves. They don’t have aspirations in their lives. They have been told by cynics not to dream and they have bought into the myth that it won’t come true. Be proud of who you are. If people around you are calling you names, it is because they are not confident about who they are. Sadly, they need to put down others to feel good about their own selves.
Embrace your dreams. It is the best way to lead a life. Dreams will give direction to your life and keep you motivated. At the same time, don’t run down people who dream about marrying early and having babies. That is their dream. Let them live it, while you go after your own.
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